A month after…

… getting out of the psychiatric ward.

My last post was about outsmarting the police and getting out of the ER but I never blogged what happened afterwards. I went to my counseling appointment on campus the next morning and was met by my psychiatrist as well as my counselor. Both were straigthforward and I was “voluntarily committed” to the psych ward. Different hospital, different experience (this time a good one!) but nevertheless a whole week on the psych ward!
What’s happened since then….. I was diagnosed with bipolar and have been on medication since then. First Depakote, now Lithium and Depakote. I don’t think that’s so bad but unfortunately my parents made it here and they are less than pleased with it. They think a bit of therapy will do the job just as well and that I should be taken off the meds ASAP. I don’t even think I am able to face the day without the mood stabilizers but oooookkayyyyy!
On Friday they have an appointment with my psychiatrist so she can tell them why I should be on meds and what bipolar disorder means. We’ll see how that goes. I’m too stressed right now to do anything but just hope that I can make it through until they are gone.

The week in the loony bin was as good as it can be under the circumstances. It was like a vacation because I didn’t have to worry about anything. But the rest… I was released and came back to an empty house, my two roommates having said they wouldn’t live with me anymore. So I moved out in four days, put everything into storage for a month and lived with a coworker for 20 days until my parents were around. When they were here we found a nice place for me to rent and I moved in there. But everything has been stressful, particularly having to finish up the semester, having to write papers and stuff. I was and am so tired of it. I can’t sleep well right now and my mood is constantly going up and down like a yo-yo. It used to be better and I hope that once my parents are gone and I can finally rest and relax that things will be better. I know I’m desperately craving time for myself!! Time to sit down, time to lay down, time to read, time to tan, just a lot of rest and nothing to do. I hope I can find that peace and quiet starting on May 20th. Only a couple more weeks…

I’m wearin thin again, too stressed to be of any use for anyone. But it will somehow, somehow, somehow be ok.

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